The Mid Collective + TRIP

turning 40

According to Oprah... "At 40, something magical happens to you--something liberating and rejuvenating and exhilarating. You acquire a healthy disregard for what other people think. You gain the confidence to define yourself boldly and on your own terms. You don't accept anyone else's judgments but your own. In short, you stop living your life for other people and start living it for yourself. The force is with you because, at long last, it is in you."
I love this quote, I am still trying to figure out why turning 40 is such a big deal, especially since I don't have kids. I guess it makes more sense, that usually when you turn 40 your kids are adults, or almost adults as well, they leave the house and the 40 year old mom has to redefine herself. She has to figure out how she is going to spend the next 40 years and probably reconnect with her husband who she hasn't had alone time with in years.
But none of this makes sense for me. I've been married to my second husband for 4 years. We spend a lot of time together. I don't think I am a different person then I was just a few years ago. I guess my turning point when I left my first husband and I had to figure out... now what?...

The 40 things every Black woman must have by the time she turns 40.

I like this list, even tho I am not a black woman, but I am turning 40, so...


1.) Peace of mind (and a piece of property).

2.) A will.

3.) Willpower.

4.) A savings account in your own name (and an IRA in the name of your future security).

5.) A mammogram.

6.) A manicure (not to mention a pedicure, a facial and a massage--all on the same day).

7.) A set of matching luggage.

8.) A ticket to some exotic place to unpack it.

9.) A great hairdresser, gynecologist and stockbroker.

10.) A passionate, fiery, unforgettable love affair.

11.) A little black dress that makes you look five pounds thinner.

12.) A sense of humor, style and purpose.

13.) A selfish streak.

14.) A spiritual foundation that gets you through a very bad night without going crazy.

15.) A facial foundation that gets you through a very long day without going ashy.

16.) A good bra.

17.) A good spa.

18.) A library card (used often).

19.) A credit card (used sparingly).

20.) At least one person in your life who says: "You call, I come."

21.) Good body language (multilingual!).

22.) A broken heart and the knowledge you can survive it.

23.) A cause celebre (domestic violence, infant mortality, save the whales--your choice).

24.) A personal relationship with God.

25.) A personal trainer.

26.) Selective amnesia ("What Saturday morning meeting?").

27.) Gall.

28.) A good skin-care regimen.

29.) The ability to converse on any subject without benefit of concrete knowledge or access to facts.

30.) A shocking secret.

31.) A pair of silk pajamas.

32.) A lifetime membership in at least one organization dedicated to uplifting Black folks (e.g., National Council of Negro Women, the NAACP).

33.) The phone number of someone who is good with their hands.

34.) At least one drop-dead, don't-speak-to-me-because-you-know-you-don't-know-me gorgeous photo of yourself.

35.) A friendship that has stood the test of time.

36.) One last chance to tell the guy you were crazy about in your 20s who treated you like cigarette ashes on the floor what you were too dumb to know when he walked out with your heart in his hands: "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

37.) A soul mate.

38.) Faith, hope and a good fantasy.

39.) A dream.

40.) A plan to make it come true.

Blog about turning 40
poetry about turning 40... lol for real!

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